


In the mourning

by noahsaysrelax



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Gen, I'm sorry this is sad, i tried writing a fix it and then I wrote this, implied thasmin if you try very hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23803783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noahsaysrelax/pseuds/noahsaysrelax
Summary: Yasmin is back on Earth, but the Doctor is dead. And she doesn't know quite well how to deal with this. (aka The Five Stages of Grief as lived by Yasmin Khan)
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan, Yasmin Khan & Graham O'Brien, Yasmin Khan & TARDIS, Yasmin Khan/OC
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	In the mourning

Yaz settles into the new TARDIS.  
Graham houses the others, shows them the 21st century. Help them settle into Earth who is a long way from being destroyed by cybermen. Longer still from becoming Orphan 55.  
He checks on Yaz almost daily. They exchange a couple of words, makes a cup of tea. On a good day they retell stories about the Doctor, and their time as travellers. The TARDIS makes a few noises here and there and Graham wonders if he's becoming a bit crazy but he does think they sound like reassuring sounds, as if the ship is communicating with Yaz. 

\-- 

The new TARDIS tries really hard to make it better for Yasmin Khan. The ship replicates her room (her original TARDIS room). Yas destroys everything in rage. Cries till she’s out of breath, out of tears and out of energy. Sleeps on the floor of the destroyed room. The next day she touches the console of the new TARDIS and apologizes for her actions, and explain she can’t deal with it. She can’t have her old room in here. It reminds her too much, it’s too real. At night the room the TARDIS shows her is a new one, very different from the other. She thanks the ship, but still go to sleep crying silently. 

\--

Yaz doesn’t leave her job. She tell Graham and Ryan she’s trying to re-settle into her old life but she keeps at the force with the hope that she’ll run into the Doctor again, that she’ll run into aliens and suddenly her Doctor will be there again. She hopes. She dreams about it. The more the time passes, more used to her old life she gets. Yasmin Khan hates on herself for it. The day she realizes she has gone through her day with ease and no hurting thoughts about the Doctor she enters the TARDIS and go straight to her old room. It’s still messed up. She takes her time putting everything in place. A spitting image of her old room. She promises herself she will heal from it but she won’t forget the Doctor. She won’t let her be forgotten. 

\--

Three years pass by so fast it barely registers in Yaz’s mind. Everyone is settled into new routines. Graham and Ryan still keep in touch, but it’s not the same. They have their lives, they continue. Yaz stays. She stops coming to their house.  
She works. She goes home. In a loop.  
Her parents call sometimes, so does her sister. If they notice her lack of excitement, they don’t say anything. She prefers like this. They learn not to mention the Doctor again.  
The TARDIS sounds become background noise, she doesn’t pay attention to them. The console room is forgotten. 

\--

Graham and Ryan notice. They see Yaz falling from herself, they see she’s not well. And they come back into her life. They talk for hours on end. About everything they lived. About life without the Doctor. They are family, and they repeat it everytime as some sort of mantra, something to remind Yaz - their Yaz - that she’s not alone.  
She cries on Graham’s arms one afternoon, tell him about her love for the Doctor. He tells her about Grace, about loving this brave and kind woman. They cry together. He promises her she’s going to be fine, eventually.  
Yaz keeps going. She meets someone.  
They kiss after the first date.  
Life goes on.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I'm sorry for making this sad. It just happened.  
> I finished the last episode and just needed to write something (started writing this to be a fix it and it became sad ops)  
> Anyways, I hope you are all safe, and staying at home as much as possible.  
> I'm wondering if it's worth making a second chapter with Yaz learning the Doctor isn't dead just in a judoon prison. Let me know in the comments if that's something you want.  
> you can find me at: wrapurselfinpetals | tumblr.


End file.
